If Your Partner Is Dieting, They Probably Want to Dump You, Says Science – New York News – Runnin’ Scared

This isn’t news to me, but some people need it spelled out.

“​A report by a couple of fun-loving sociologists in Germany may have you concerned. They say that happy couples get fat because there is no longer the same pressure on them to look good. Thus, when your wonderful boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband announces he or she is only eating egg whites, and spending a lot of time in the gym, and how about this raw food diet program he or she has heard so much about?, you should be very worried that they’re not going to be much fun to go to dinner with. And also, they might want to ditch you for someone else.”

via If Your Partner Is Dieting, They Probably Want to Dump You, Says Science – New York News – Runnin’ Scared.

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The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Doesn’t Work | Psychology Today

“Revenge is the desire to get even when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to feel angry, to say “I’m not going to let that **** get away with this,” whatever “this” is. However, revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor. Additionally, studies have shown that revenge increases stress and impairs health and immunity. Sure, if someone hits you with a stick, you have the impulse to hit them back–the basis for wars. To thrive personally and as a species, we must resist this predictable lust for revenge, and seek to right wrongs more positively. This doesn’t make you a pushover; you’re just refusing to act in a tediously destructive way antithetical to ever finding peace. As Confucious says, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.””

via The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Doesn’t Work | Psychology Today.

Being the Better Person Will Teach People To Treat You Like Crap

We’re taught to turn the other cheek—that being kind in the face of hostility is the better way to respond to conflict so love can overcome hate. According to psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus, writing for Psychology Today, that sort of reaction just teaches abusive people that their behavior is effective.

via Being the Better Person Will Teach People To Treat You Like Crap.

In my experience, this is very true.  However, what this article doesn’t say is that once an abuser decides you’re a mark (based on how nice you are), anything you do will “provoke” abuse.

Ever since I figured out that being too nice makes you an abuse magnet, I’ve simply been up-front with unacceptable behaviour.  I’m not unique in this, either.  Boy, does that ever sort out the bad apples!  Decent people respond by focusing on the behaviour and try to work with you on the issue.  The ones you don’t want to stick around ignore you or launch very quickly into personal attacks–they take everything personally and can’t or won’t focus on solving the problem.

Remember, though, when you raise your red flag, to keep your mind on specific issues and not on personalities.  Nothing gets better by making personal attacks, and they just demonstrate that you don’t want the problem solved.  Hey, do you want things to work out, or do you just want to fight?

Namaste 🙂

Social Networking Game: Empire Avenue

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If you’re following the feeds in my sidebar, you’ll see that I’m usually active in places other than here.  This is the place I kick off my shoes and relax.

Empire Avenue logoI check in once a day at Empire Avenue (EA), an on-line social networking game modelled after the stock market, using social media presence to drive share prices.  I’m there as TMSocial.   One can sign up as either a person or business (I don’t know what would promote one over the other, other than psychology).  My current EA social media assets are a combination of TechMag Social‘s and my own, mostly because that’s the mix I was logged into when I signed up.  You pick your “industry” and earn titular promotions in that industry, as well as earning general game achievements.

The concept reminds me a bit of Blogshares.  It’s a cool game and and an interesting social network.  I seem to be doing fine there and I haven’t needed to spend a lot of time on it.

For me, the beauty is that my game standing benefits from my social media activities, and these are more vital to me than playing a game.  Further, my Twitter FF is growing organically from it (well, I hope it’s organic …).

Warm fuzzy feelings all around.

Releasing the beauty within

Stacey has written an amazing article about her journey of releasing her true inner beauty when her false outer beauty started to fail. It required some hard soul searching and letting go.

How to be a natural beauty. Beauty isn’t a look…it’s a state…an extension and an elevation of how you live your life.
Natural Beauty

Natural Beauty

Awesome, Stacey!

Read the rest of the story here:  http://www.mylifestylemax.com/2011/08/how-to-be-a-natural-beauty/